WEEK 9: PLEASING PERSONALITY
A Pleasing Personality
Lesson Nine is “A Pleasing Personality.” Hill defines a pleasing personality as “a personality that attracts” and devotes this lesson to looking at and creating the causes of attraction. Taking a genuine interest in other people is important in attraction, and he uses an example of a very effective saleswoman who focused her initial meeting with Hill on him – his work and accomplishments – not on her product. This simple idea is all too often forgotten by many people who use the pronoun “I” far more than “you”. His point is that forming sound relationships is of the utmost of importance. If this is done, there is no need to “sell yourself” -the customer/client will insist on supporting you in every way. Hill warns us that cheap flattery will not replace genuine heart interest.
Another point brought out in this lesson sums up Hill’s entire philosophy and purpose: Look at successful people with admiration instead of envy. Objectively analyze their methods and appreciate the price they had to pay in their careful and well-organized preparation and efforts.
Hill concludes this lesson with a formula for building character. First, imagine people who have the type of character you wish to possess, then proceed to take on those qualities through autosuggestion. Create in your imagination a meeting with them and write out a detailed statement of the qualities you wish to assume from them with their council. Actually see these figures seated around an imaginary table.
Then keep your thoughts focused in a positive manner as you listen to their advice and guidance, and keep in mind the kind of person you would like to be, relying on the advice and examples of those sitting at that table. Also, always remember to give praise to the genuine good qualities you see in others. He promises this will bring the law of attraction into play-almost magically.
To sum this lesson up: the seven key factors of a pleasing personality are:
- Form the habit of interesting yourself in other people, and make it your business to find their good qualities and speak of them in terms of praise.
- Develop the ability to speak with force and conviction, both in your ordinary conversational tones and before public gatherings, where you must use more volume.
- Dress in a style that is becoming to you and appropriate to the work in which you are engaged.
- Develop a positive character, through the aid of the methods outlined in this lesson.
- Learn how to shake hands and use eye contact so that you will express warmth and enthusiasm through this form of greeting.
- Attract other people to you by first “attracting yourself” to them.
- Remember that your only limitation, within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.
Lesson 9 Overview:
- The secret to using your personality to attract the right people into your life.
- The two most important aspects of your personality.
- Why human nature always wants what is always best for us.
- Why you should always make sure that your words fit the frame of mind of the listener.
- The amazing value of ‘you’ … and the fatality of ‘I’.
- The seven major factors to developing an attractive personality.
- Your most important step in building your character.
- The two staggering benefits to self-suggestion.
- The single thing that you need to express your true personality.
- The one major thing needed if you hope to become a prominent leader.
What is an attractive personality? Of course, the answer is a personality that attracts.
What causes the personality to attract? Your personality is the sum total of your characteristics and appearances which distinguish you from all others.
The clothes you where, the lines in your face, the tone of your voice, the thoughts you think, the character you have developed by those thoughts, all constitute parts of your personality.
By far the most important part of your personality is that which is represented by your CHARACTER, and is therefore the part that is not visible by the style of your clothes and the appropriateness.
Appearance undoubtably constitutes a very important part of your personality, for it is true that people form first impressions of you from your outward appearance.
The expression of your eyes also forms an important part of your personality, for there are people and there’re more numerous than one might imagine, who can look through your eyes into your heart and see that which is written there by the nature of your most secret thoughts.
Take a keen heart interests in the other fellows “game” in life.
The vitality of your body, sometimes called personal magnetism, also constitutes an important part of your personality.
The first essential to developing a pleasing personality is CHARACTER, for no one may have a pleasing personality without the foundation of a sound positive character.
Through the principle of telepathy you “telegraph” the nature of your character to those with him you come in contact, which is responsible for what you have often called an “intuitive feeling.”
You may embellish yourself with clothes of the neatest and latest design and conduct yourself in a most pleasing manner, as far as outside appearances go, but if there is negative qualities in your heart, you will never attract any except those characters which harmonize with your own.
Like attracts like, and you may be sure, therefore, that those who are attracted to you are those whose inward nature’s parallel your own.
You may endow yourself with an artificial smile that belies your feelings, and you may practice the art of handshaking so that you can imitate perfectly the handshake of a person whose adapt at this art, but if these outward manifestations of an attractive personality lack that vital factor called “earnestness of purpose,” they will repel instead of the attract.
The first step in character building is rigid self-discipline.
I cannot overemphasize the far-reaching effects of the habit of praising openly and enthusiastically the good qualities of others. For this habit will surely reward you with a feeling of self-respect and manifestation of gratitude from others that will modify your entire personality.
Here, the law of attraction enters, and those whom you praise will see, in you, the qualities you see in them. Your success in the application of this formula will be exact proportion to your FAITH in its soundness.
You can, with the aid of this formula, developing an attractive personality so speedily that you will surprise all who know you. The development of such a personality is entirely within your own control- a fact which gives you a tremendous advantage and at the same time places upon you the responsibility if you choose to exercise this privilege.
Set into motion the vibration through which the thought back of your words reaches and embeds itself into your subconscious mind, where it takes root and grows until it becomes a great moving force in your outward physical activity. This lends itself to the transformation of the thought into reality.
Develop within you the ability to speak with forcing conviction which will lead to great ability as a public speaker. No matter what you’re calling in life maybe, you should be able to stand upon your feet and speak convincingly, as this is one of the most effective ways of developing an attractive personality.
Bring feeling and emotion into your words as you speak and develop a deep rich tone to your voice.
You must cultivate your voice until it becomes rhythmical and pleasing to the ear.
Acquire the habit of making yourself agreeable and you profit both materially and mentally for you will never be as happy in any other way as you will be when you know that you are making others happy.
Remove the smokey glasses through which you see what you believe to be the blueness of life and behold the shining sunlight of friendliness.
Surely, you must know that the biggest prizes of life go to the builders instead of the destroyers; the man who builds a house is an artist; the man who tears it down, is a junkman.
The person with an attractive personality will engage another person on the subjects which he knows to be closest to their heart.
Every successful man and woman who have acquired success has surely learned the art of being agreeable.
Congratulate yourself when you reach the degree of wisdom which primes you to see less of the weaknesses of others and more of their own goodness for you will then be walking in the company of the really great.
Aspiration is greater than realization because it keeps us eternally climbing upward toward some unattained goal.
Simply find out what other people want and then produce- it produce it well, better than anyone else is doing; give a touch of individuality, and make it distinctive.
The laws of imagination, cooperation, and pleasing personality may be blended and coordinated to profit from and create amazing ideas.
Ideas are the beginning of all successful achievement.
Take a genuine heart -interest in other people, and you are sure to attract with a pleasing personality.
Make it your business to study other people long enough and close enough to find something about them and their work that you really admire. Only in this way can you develop a personality that will be irresistibly attractive.
We are all alike in this respect: we will listen with intense interest to those who talk to us about that which lies closest to our hearts, and then we will also listen with interest when the speaker finally switches the conversation to the subject which is closest to his or her heart. At the end, we will not only “sign on the dotted line,” but we will say, “what a wonderful personality!”
*How to create a pleasing personality*
In both the first and seventh lessons of this course you will find the formula to which you may shape your character after any pattern that you choose. It is repeated it here as a practice since it is the basis upon a principal that’ll bear much retribution when followed:
FIRST– Select those whose characters are made up of the qualities with which you wish to build into your own character and then proceed in the manner described in lesson one to appropriate these qualities with the aid of autosuggestion.
Create in your imagination a counsel table and gather your characters around EACH NIGHT, first having written out a clear concise statement of the particular qualities that you wish to appropriate from each person.
Then proceed to affirm or suggest yourself in outspoken audible words that you are developing the desired qualities in yourself. As you do this, close your eyes and see in your imagination each figure seated around your imaginary table offering you the qualities and aspects you wish to receive.
SECOND- Through the principles described in lesson seven on self-control, you can control your thoughts and keep your mind vital with thoughts of a positive nature. Let the dominating thought of your mind be a picture of the person that you intend to be, the person that you’re deliberately building through this procedure.
At least a dozen times a day when you have a few minutes to yourself, shut your eyes and director thoughts to the figures which you have selected to sit at your imaginary console table, and feel with a faith that knows *no limitation* that you’re actually growing to the resemble and characterize those feelings and those figures of your choice.
THIRD- Find at least one person each day, and more if possible, in whom you see some good qualities that are worthy of praise– and praise them! Remember that this praise must be genuine.
Speak your words of praise with such earnestness that they will impress those to whom you speak- then watch what happens- you will have rendered those you praise as irresistible to you, and have given a benefit of great value to them. You will have gone just one more step closer in the direction of developing the habit of looking for and finding the good qualities and others, which is of much benefit to you!
Levels II & III: Read Lesson 10 on Accurate Thought in The Law of Success Book for next week. Note these are big chapters so pace yourself and make a commitment to read every day. Take notes as you go along, and STICK WITH IT!
Level III: Listen to the Your Wish Is Your Command CD Series: sample of disc4
Let us now summarize the chief factors which enter into the development of attractive personality:
First: Form the habit of interesting yourself and other people. Make it your business to find their good qualities and speak of them in terms of praise.
Second: Develop the ability to speak with forcing conviction. Practice your ordinary conversational tones and before public gatherings, for you must use different volumes.
Third: Clothe yourself in a style that is becoming of your physical build along with the work in which you are engaged.
Fourth: Develop a positive character with the aid of the formula outlined in this lesson.
Fifth: Learn how to shake hands and use eye contact so that you express warmth of feeling and enthusiasm through this form of greeting.
Remember enthusiasm is the main spring of the soul- keep it well and you will never be without power to get what you actually need.
Six: Attract other people to you by first “attracting yourself” to them.
Seventh: Remember that your only limitation within reason is the one which you set up in your own mind.
These seven points cover the most important factors that enter into the development of an attractive personality. It seems highly necessary to suggest that such a personality will not develop unless you develop it.
Submit yourself to the discipline herein described with the firm determination to transform yourself into the person that you would like to be.
If you will cultivate those finer thoughts, feelings and actions in which a positive character is built, and then learn to express yourself with forceful conviction, you will have developed an attractive personality; for it will be seen that out of this attainment will come the other qualities outlined here.
There is a great power of attraction back of the person who has a positive character. This power expresses itself through unseen as well as visible sources the moment you come within speaking distance of such a person. Even though not a word is spoken, the influence of the unseen power within makes itself felt.
No man has the right to strain the relationship of friendly acquaintance to the breaking point by asking or expecting of a friend that which may prove to be a burden to the friend.
It is logical to find that being in the vortex naturally creates an attractive, pleasing personality with all the characteristics conducive for success. One of the greatest traits of an aligned being is embodying Grace. Enjoy!